Parenting 101

I have been a Dad for 5 months now so I am a bit of an expert on this whole parenting gig… HA JK. I have been thinking lately about others who write “advice” blogs or freely (and aggressively) give new parents advice about how to handle, or what is going on with, their kid. I don’t want this post to be that. Instead I am just going to share a couple of things that I have observed so far as I am learning to be a parent. ***Cracks Fingers*** SO HERE WE GO!

Listen to advice. Just listen. There is no harm in listening to someone give advice. But here’s the thing, if you’re going to give me advice when I didn’t ask for it, there is a good chance my brain will start thinking about a good strategy for the level of Two Dots I am stuck on. I will always listen to advice, good or bad – but it doesn’t mean I’ll heed it. Ultimately we are the parents, we know our child better than anyone, so we will just go with our gut.

Get the child use to your life style. No one should become a hermit; we all need to see the light of day. We were holed up in the hospital for the first three days of Harper’s life. That was awful. So when we got home, we made sure to get outside and introduce Harper to our life. Yes, parts of our life changed (for the better), but we wanted to introduce our daughter to restaurants and noises and fresh air from the beginning, so we did it. And guess what? Not only is Harper fine, we’re happy we started early because now she loves walks downtown and trips to Target.


Noise is A-OK. When our kid is sleeping we try to make normal noise. Don’t get me wrong, just because she is sleeping does not mean it is time to shred on the acoustic guitar or make drums out of the pots and pans. Getting our kid used to normal house noises during nap times like dishes, doors shutting, the tv, talking at a normal volume was a little work in the beginning, but it’s worth it in the long run. We should not have to shut down just because she is – unless we want to sleep (NAPS and early bedtimes ARE THE BEST).


Cold coffee. Cold Dinner. I don’t care how hard I try, my coffee will get cold. My artisanal meal, that I spent time creating and crafting from the nether regions of my brain, will be cold most of the time when I finally get to eat it. I got over it eventually. The microwave exists for a reason and now I truly understand its purpose.

Becoming A Morning Person. I was never really a morning person, but I sure am now. It’s no secret why I get more stuff done before my daughter wakes up. Really, I can get dishes, laundry, house clutter and the dog all done before the sun even rises. It’s a gift, really.

Let’s get the eff outta here.  Sometimes our kid can’t hang. Babies are people too and sometimes they have days. We may be having a nice time at our sushi lunch when suddenly we have to ask for a t0-go box and throw money at the waiter as we head out the door to go home. Honestly, sometimes we have not even left the house yet and we have to ro-sham-bo to see who stays home and who gets the joyful bliss of a silent car ride to the store. (most of the time it is Rachel, cause I am hella cool like that.)

Baby farts. Holy crap. I had no idea something so small could make a man-sized noise like that. INCREDIBLE. Just wow.

The freakin sleep question. Did you know that you all ask the same question? I am having a hard time getting used to answering this one question EVERY TIME I see someone, “Oh, hey are you sleeping at all?!?? Hahahaha!!!” There are only three possible answers to this question. Let me list them for you here:

  1. If your child is a “horrible sleeper,” you are exhausted and you will rage on anyone who asks this.
  2. If your child is a “normal sleeper,” you are still probably tired. You will just get annoyed answering this question cause like “duh, we have a baby.”
  3. If your child is an “amazing sleeper,” you are still allowed to be tired and lets face it, you are. In your head you will say “why do people ask this question?”

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